Complete hell

How could I be so ignorant.
There is no forgiveness for the things I have done.
Why Lord,
I thought you would take me.
Why do I feel so wrong, why?
(no be won't take me I've gone to far I'm so alone, I made this bed now I'm trapped alone)
Jesus is the King of kings.
Jesus is Lord of lords.
He will cleanse you of your sin.
He will cleanse you with his blood.
I don't know what to accept this joke,
it's all on me.
I thought you could take the pain away,
aren't you God?
I hate you.
Just let me die.
There is no God,
there is no truth but death.
(How could I be such a fool. Let go of this lie. There's no help no help anymore, can I turn around now? I can't I can't. I can't move)
Take back your life,
he can't be real, take up that knife, and what you feel. You're gone to far, for God to heal. Take up that knife, end what you feel.

It just is to strong.
The numbness in my heart.
I can't wait to go,
I don't want to breathe this filth no more!
It's all moving to fast.
I'm so numb.
Stay away from me,
stay away from me.
I'm being paralyzed.
No, no, no, no stay away from me let go.
I can't even scream,
I can't move.
Oh please stay away from me.
Please help me somebody I can't hear,
I can't see, I can't move, I can't breath,
no, no, no, no stop,
I need somebody, some how,
help me please… OH JESUS!!!