A letter for the lady who haunts my nights

Despite myself
I make the most of this long sleepless night
To jot down these lines
We say that the heart has its reasons,
That reason doesn't always understand
I hope mine isn't lost
I will have needed time to understand
To write to help me come out of this mist
To know how to find the right words
Even though I'm aware that you won't read them
But I know you are here !
I feel your gaze turn on me,
But what does it matter ?
I have to empty my mind, make my heart cry
What could I have done to help you ?
I would have covered you with my skin
If I had been able to remove it...
Just to warm up you
In your shaking arms, I would have rolled off my strength
So that you might defend yourself
Pierced by pain
Your body would have passed through mine
And we would have shared it
But now, I have to relearn to live... Whithout you
Afflicted by much sorrow
I try to cross life...
To have been able to write all these thoughts
Which obsess and torment me,
Relieves my conscience
I only have to forget everything,
Start anew
And give my life a new meaning...