Smokes, let's go

Had my first smoke in 4 years today
I wasn't thinking about my voice
Or the things that my poor mother would say
If she found out that I made this choice
I was thinking about your face
And the look of disappointment
That you would surely cast my way
If you caught wind of the sails I've hoisted
I float away, path curling like the smoke off my tongue
Still hurt, emotions closed tight like my lungs
Know I said I'd never write about you again

But a promise ain't a promise
If we both have never held up our end
No, a promise ain't a promise
If we both have never held up our end

Twelve-packs and cigarettes
I guess they never help
Think I have some kind of penchant
For things detrimental to my health
I wish that things were different
I just wish we were still friends
'Cause if there's one thing I know
This just all goes to show
That a promise ain't a promise
If we both have never held up our end

I never should've went to that bar
I wish I never noticed your car
I shouldn't have waited, I should've just left
Now I'm outside my house
With a new cigarette to smoke again
Why couldn't I ignore your glowing skin and smile?
Why'd I let you grab my hand and lead me in?
I made a promise to myself to never let this win

But a promise ain't a promise
If I can't hold together both ends
No, a promise ain't a promise
If I can't hold together both ends
No, a promise ain't a promise
If I can't hold together both ends

I smoked my first pack in four years today
I mean, I guess it didn't really help
I think I have some kind of penchant
For things detrimental to my health
I guess I'm smoking again