Well, I'm a piece of white trash
Living in the suburbs
Working minimum wage
'Cause I'm dumber than a turd
Dropped out of fifth grade
Living on welfare
I don't have an id
But I don't really care
I couldn't find a job
It really was quite tiring
And then I saw an ad
Ice cream man now hiring
I took my mother's mini-van
That stolen piece of crap
Boom kiddies
The ice cream man is back
Living in the suburbs
Working minimum wage
'Cause I'm dumber than a turd
Dropped out of fifth grade
Living on welfare
I don't have an id
But I don't really care
I couldn't find a job
It really was quite tiring
And then I saw an ad
Ice cream man now hiring
I took my mother's mini-van
That stolen piece of crap
Boom kiddies
The ice cream man is back
I am the ice cream man
Running over kids in my mini-van
Well, I'm driving down the street
Shootin' kids with a 40
Listen in closely
This is a good story
I guess a little skaterpunk
Didn't really like me
I said "what you want?"
And he said "bite me!"
So, I took the scooper
And shoved it up his pooper
And he's been limping for days
And I just sat
I sat and laughed
As the little punk waddled away
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