A war inside

We've been living up to meet our makers
But I'm standing here with a crown of thornes
Given to me by the man in the mirror
With a crooked smile on his face

The price we pay to live how we want to
Is sacrificing one need to live up to another

Why am I still in this rut
My mind is a mess and my head is f***ed up
The water is rising – it's filling my lungs
Swimming or drowning – where's the difference?

I know you can't see into my head
But I am sick of dropping hints
Why can't you understand?

That in my head
I see it clearly
From dusk till dawn
And birth to death
It all makes sense
That in my head
I know where to go
But I'm in war with myself

Equally defining the thief and the brave
The lust of a preacher, the mediocrity of a king
It's like shots fired from a saint
I am mess forming a man

My body a vessel
My heart is a void
I am mess forming a man

I still try to run away
But you can’t outrun the crows

That in my head
I see it clearly
From dusk till dawn
And birth to death
It all makes sense
In my dreams
There is no pressure
No weight on my feet
A healing of my
Ever-present thoughts

I'm hearing the silence
I'm seeing just white
Shapeless and empty
A bliss just for a while
I'm still hearing their voices at the back of my head
Still feeling their glances up from above
Why can't you stop following me
I know I'm not, where I should be
Not what I used to be, not what I should have been
There is one thing you need to understand
That is first I need to win
The war inside my head