Wrestling angels

Why am I here? What's going on?
How could these blessings
All have turned out so wrong?
Where are You when I need You the most?
You took all the Holy and left me with the ghost

So now all that I'm needing
Is to feel You with me
'Cause I can get tired believing
In the things I can't see
Faith isn't always easy

Despite all this time, You find me still here
The place that I swore away from each New Year
And this road that I'm walking
I keep losing my way
'Cause the straight and the narrow's
Laid out more like a maze

So now all that I'm needing
Is to feel You with me
'Cause I can get tired believing
In the things I can't see
I'm wrestling angels
For more than a sign
'Cause I just cannot settle
For a faith with no spine

If You're not in the valley,
Then tell me what's the use of the mountain top?
And at least if we're wrestling
I don't need more proof
That You're and intimate God
It's not easy
But I wouldn't want easy

So now all that I'm needing
Is to feel You with me
'Cause I can get tired believing
In the things I can't see
I'm wrestling angels
For more than a sign
'Cause I just cannot settle
For a faith with no spine
Faith isn't always easy