Maria

Sweet Jesus, please help Maria
I tried holy water and I tried tequila
Her skin is turning green
She's becoming more obscene
And now she sticks a crucifix up her vagina

Now Maria thinks it's also funny
All the while I know it's blasphemy
She's been pissin' on my floor
She's becoming such a whore
But I can't hate the bitch 'cause she's my honey

But if she don't turn
She's gonna burn
Down in the flames of Hell where they'll be weeping
'Cause it's a sin
She let the damned thing in
And I swear she's sneaking out at night while the rest of us are sleeping

I been praying all night long
And I've been singing Christian songs
Something as possessed my lovely wife
There's something standing close
In the dark, it ain't a ghost
It's Maria, tryna take my life

Now Maria vomits and she swears
And it's creepy how she comes crawling down the stairs
Her head is spinnin' 'round
She's been writhing on the ground
It breaks my heart and causes many tears

But if she don't turn
She's gonna burn
Down in the flames of Hell where they'll be weeping
'Cause it's a sin
She let the damned thing in
And I swear she's sneaking out at night while the rest of us are sleeping

I been praying all night long
And I've been singing Christian songs
Something as possessed my lovely wife
There's something standing close
In the dark, it ain't a ghost
It's Maria, tryna take my life

(Here we go!)

I think she might be going straight to Hell
'Cause down the steps my poor Maria fell
I gave that girl a shove
I pushed with all my love
And where I hid the body I'll never tell

She didn't turn
She's gonna burn
Down in the flames of Hell where they'll be weeping
'Cause it's a sin
She let the damned thing in
And I swear she was sneaking out at night while the rest of us were sleeping

I been praying all night long
And I've been singing Christian songs
That poor girl was once my lovely wife
She had no self-control
May God forgive her soul
'Cause I had to take Maria's life