A fitting lie

No words need to be spoken.
Just close your eyes and i'll understand.
Don't cry because i will break down as well.
I never understood everything you laid out on the table
But yet covered with ease when i questioned
The action of killing the things that made me push on.
I guess this will be the day i figure out the sketch of your face,
And imagine how many different masks you wore to push me aside.
Now i understand why heaven can be thought of like this.
Playing dead doesn't get you anywhere.
Especially when everyone already thinks you are.
Blame it on loss, blame it on giving up on you.
A dimly lit room, rope burns on my wrists.
And all you can do is kiss when i want to die.
I'm being pulled five hundred different ways
And confusion has become an everyday feeling.