Inscrutable confusion

In my deepest time of anger
A black vision filled
Ruled every part of me
I did feel an evil danger
Threatening my world my life
And the being i used to be

Im dying million times a day
I never thought it could be
The last time i lay
Im agonizing million times a night

I tried to catch my soul
And hold it on so tight

I ve dreamed something
Never happened in my life
I ve felt the endless end
I ve felt death so rife

A sharp confusion of feelings
Glistened at my heart
I liked the way i died
But i hated it when i tried
I loved to live the breath
And i hated to face death

I couldn't choose freely
The way i was to go
I couldnt know exactly
What i was to know
Nothing had killed me except
This huge confusion
Nothing had ended me except
This inscrutable illusion