A letter to myself

This is a poor excuse for creativity
A backlash at my violated liberty
Stand close to me and you'll feel the panic
This is dedicated to unnecessary damage
I can still hear you yelling from the bathroom
I don't wanna leave now, but I know I'll have to
Who knows what happens after the death of laughter
I realise the termination of this chapter
It's in the best interest for both our bloodstreams
My veins connect to form a clot it's self destructing
This relationship was nothing but a disease
I folded it to save it but got lost within the crease
Now I'm hoping I can't recognise the pictures
Blurred out faces and the bodies are disfigured
My memory doesn't serve me so well
The misery is merely just a mask I can't unveil
There's a history that both of us are tied to
Underneath the arguments and faces that we lied to
Every second adds more fuel to the flames
I cut off the oxygen along with the pain

So let this story motivate the resurrection
Of what you do we're with no recollection
Of that night the light was so contaminating
Here's a stain that has left me sadly waiting
Another chance to improve my response time
Something here keeps coming back to haunt my-
Non-existance in the path that you've chosen
My heartbeat stops and my lips remain frozen

It's colder than it ever was
Shivering and glancing at the scars on my thumbs
Matchsticks would ignite when I snapped
Ask this man what he would do to get that back
Anything if it was one sober evening
A witness to your wants and everything that lies between them
Never lost in the fantasies or daydreams
This is reality confused with a maybe
I don't think this should be placed on the shelf
A re-evaluation of acceptance and of self
I boarded up every door inside my house
Forwarding the messages to unknown accounts
I'm just a puppet, strung up to crucifixes
Who will miss this abusiveness of wishes
I'm not the person that I thoght I was
Travelling through time on a search for love

So let this story motivate the resurrection
Of what you do we're with no recollection
Of that night the light was so contaminating
Here's a stain that has left me sadly waiting
Another chance to improve my response time
Something here keeps coming back to haunt my-
Non-existance in the path that you've chosen
My heartbeat stops and my lips remain frozen

At the discretion of the listeners health
This is a letter that I wrote to myself
Not to include any persons from my past
And present interactions are never going to last
I only travel to escape that sense of home
I only write 'cause it's the only thing I know
I only breathe for the people around me
I live for you all but you could all live without me

You could all live without me
But you all
You could all live without me