Comical genius

O a comical genius was thinking one day
How he'd jack up his job and receive handy pay
He did not like begging and work was too hard
So he got a bright notion to join up the guard
Diddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum day

Well he went up to Dublin, to the depot went in
Got a new suit of blue as bright as new pins
They drilt him, they drilt him, they drilt him so hard
The old sergeant proclaimed him a full fledged guard
Diddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum day

He was stationed somewhere near the town of Athy
On the roads of the district he kept a close eye
The girls they admired him as all brassers do
Fell in love with the guard and his new suit of blue
Diddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum day

Well the girls they would wink and they'd nod as he passed
O but this itchy guard had his eye on one lass
And this little colleen, she being a die-hard
She made it quite clear that she wanted no guard
Diddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum day

Well one time while on duty on a cold winter's night
Sure he caught her out cycling without any light
Where's your light, miss? says he for an answer says she
It's next to me liver, where you'll never be
Diddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum day