Free will and testament

giving free will, but within certain limitation.
i cannot will myself to limitless mutation.
i cannot know what i would be if i were not me.
i can only guess me.
so when i say that i know me, how can i know that?
what kinda spider understands arachnophobia?
i have my senses and my sense of having senses.
do i got them, or they me?
the weight of dust exceeds the weight of settled object.
what can it mean, such gravity without a center?
is there freedom to un-be? is there freedom for will to be?

sheer momentum makes us act this way or that way.
we just invent or just assume a motivation.
i would disperse, be disconnected.
is this possible?
what a soldier without a _
being the air, but not be air. being the no air.
being the air, but not be air. being the no air.
beyond the loose neither compacted nor suspended.
had i been free, i could have chosen not to be me.
demented forces push me madly 'round a treadmill.
demented forces push me madly 'round a treadmill.