Second hand brown suit

If I were a farmer, Id live in Oklahoma,
Id have a million cows, a unibrow, and some overalls to boot.
If I were a painter, Id live in New York city,
Id paint something real pretty, city life, Id wear a second hand brown suit,
If I we're a waiter, Id carry mashed potatoes,
and a big old steak out to the guy whos sitting in the booth
If I was in the FBI, Id help the world by fighting crime, a walkie talkie,
a secret op e-ven a wiretappin dude

But Im just a normal guy, with a light in my eye,
in love with a world that is so alive.
Isnt it scary, how everythings a mystery , all the time.
happy, sad, confused, whats the meaning of life?

If I were a, politician, Id follow the tradition,
and I cheat and lie, but its all right, hey that ain't nothing new.
If I drove a taxi cab, I would run up all the tabs,
just to save some dough, that I could blow on cigarettes and booze.
If I were the devil, Id cause alot of trouble,
Hey, Id come to earth, and go to church, and sit right in a pew.
If I was a criminal, living in prison cell, wouldnt drop my soap, thats on
a rope, near Bubba and his crew.

If I were a nudist, that would be the coolest.
I'd stand in line at the five and dime in nothing but my shoes.
If I were a CEO, I'd have a lot of cash to blow,
I'd buy inside tips on wall st and let Martha Stewart know.