Lawn full of marigolds

I moved myself west to find a philosophy,
To learn my geography at best.
Where the mountains are cold,
The rain drops it's tears, i'm told.
Amongst the ashes a heart of gold, they say.
I guess it's best to imagine it that way.

So i bought me a book to teach me the ways of god,
To open my tarnished heart from it.
Started praisin' the lord & talkin' in tongues & code
I did repairs on that broken road back home.
I guess it's better than being alone.

And now to death: i'm dying.
To love: i'm trying.
To god: i'm lying again.
And to my ma: i've failed you.
To my pa: i [always] blamed you.
And to god: i have shamed you again.

So i moved myself out, i pictured a better home-
A lawn full of marigolds, i guess.
I headed back east, started thinking my hope away,
Depression was the one to stay since then.
Now, i take pills to push it from my head.
Yes, i take pills to push it from my head.

And now to death: i'm dying.
To love: i'm trying.
To god: i'm lying again.
And to my ma: i've failed you.
To my pa: i [always] blamed you.
And to god: i have shamed you again.
To god: i have shamed you again.
To god: i have shamed you again.
Again.