Song for my father

In between me and you
are a million points of light,
I've cast them up into a darkening sky.
You can follow them to me
when you are lost or you are free
and I will wait here, I will wonder why.

The closer I get to the truth
the further away I feel,
I am grappling in a terrifying free fall.
All I have is all I know,
a vague concept of how it goes,
it coalesces, makes a shape, then slips away.