On the essence of transformation

This is the nexus of perdition, this is the core of the fall
Worked out arduously in fear, trembling and fever
The body wrecked, the mind shattered
The soul destroyed, ripe for apocalypse

And everything that constituted yourself
All the things you've done and those you could have
The joyous memories, the warmth and the calm
The silly thought that one day a change would come
The naive adolescence, off track with its dreams
But in the end, harmless and innocent
The anecdotes, and digressions and pauses
Those moments of bliss atop the green hills
The illusion of belief, justification and truth
All those things you've learned for later, for another life
And every word that could be spoken
Every thought that could be born
And all that could have been is now no more