The chemical divorce

And I can't count how many times before
I got lost in the wreckage of my past
But this time, I'll realize
And say goodbye to my idle mind

And i had a bad dream tonight, and I panicked
I wake up in a familiar pool of sweat

One day at a time
They say how it goes
But for me I'll never know

Transforming every belonging
Into a temporary feeling
I can make everything I ever owned
Vanish in front of your eyes
In a cloud of smoke

I'm a liar, I'm a cheat
I'm everything bad there is in between
Everything good I've ever done in my life has gone away
I'm miserable, I'm depressed
And I can't figure out a way to push this off my chest
And even with every boring day I have clean
I can't find a way to completely fix me
So convince me

But I'm not a bad guy,
I'm just terribly sick
I really don't want to lie
But it feels like the only way
I know to live

But I want better for myself
I just want to be sheltered
From the storm
I want to escape these chains
But I just can't find the key
To my insanity
(God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference)
Please find me

And I'm hurting
I can't forget
The taste, the feeling
Being too numb to regret
But when I look in her eyes
It all goes away in the end
And I'm tired
But I can't sleep
I spend my nights
Living inside bad dreams
And when I wake up
Every problem I left
Is still there
And bigger than it had been before
I can't do this alone anymore

And I cried out for help
I'm desperate
I've fallen again

In this private hell
You held out your arms
You whispered
It's okay
Come home
And you took me out
Of the dark
And convinced me
I'll be okay

And I'm sober
I'm finally clean
I put my past
So far behind me
And I don't ever want to look back in my life
No, never again
I survived the unthinkable
I hold back tears, and I take a grateful breath of fresh air
And with every, precious day I have clean
I can't say enough
How much better you've made me