Unloved

My legs are too thick and then they're too small
I'm everything I hate and then I'm nothing at all
I want him to see me, I want him to stay
But if he says he wants me I will push him away

I skip my dinner, I paint my face
He picks me up, we stay up late
I close the door, I've lost my way
So I drown myself in pain

The food, the clothes, the boys, my drugs
I push it down, I lock it up
So many ways to waste my time
I use it all to dry up the flood
It's all because I wanna feel loved
I feel so unloved

I search for a high, a way to get by
They'll judge no matter what so I don't really mind
I'm never enough so I act like I'm tough
But on the inside, I just wanna cry

I weigh myself, I stuff my face
I'm half alive, I'm so ashamed
I kiss him once, I feel nothing
So I do it all again

The food, the clothes, the boys, my drugs
I push it down, I lock it up
So many ways to waste my time
I use it all to dry up the flood
It's all because I wanna feel loved
I feel so unloved

They judge me like we're not the same
At least I know, I'm in this game
We run, we hide, we feel, we cry
You can't deny, you feel the pain
Distractions won't take it away

The food, the clothes, the boys, my drugs
I push it down, I lock it up
So many ways to waste my time
I use it all to dry up the flood
It's all because I wanna feel loved
Yeah, I feel so unloved