You can't blame me

I was so high last night
Heard you talking but couldn't reply
Something caught my eye
Pulled me closer to the other side

Is this what you wanted
To crash and to burn and
To learn it the hard way
Congrats, yeah you earned it

Wish I could get it right
Nothing works, no matter what I try

Sometimes
The last thing I need is some sunlight
But recently I'm seeing this side
Of 5 a.m. Way too many nights
You can't blame me
I'm not fine
Pretending that everything's alright
Cause this time just might be the last time
That I'll ever hear you say good night
You can't blame me

Now I'm nothing but a voice inside your head
Replaying all the memories we never had
You can't take back all the words you never said
Not everything made of gold is meant to last

Is this what you wanted
To crash and to burn and
To learn it the hard way
Congrats, yeah you earned it

Now I'm nothing but a ghost inside this bed
An empty room that's filled with nothing but regret

Sometimes
The last thing I need is some sunlight
But recently I'm seeing this side
Of 5 a.m. Way too many nights
You can't blame me
I'm not fine
Pretending that everything's alright
Cause this time just might be the last time
That I'll ever hear you say good night
You can't blame me

I'm not fine
Pretending it's alright, it's never been alright
I'm not fine
Pretending it's alright, it's never been alright

If I ever said I was fine I was lying (I'm not fine)
To keep you from finding the pills you're prescribing
(Pretending it's alright, it's never been alright)
You're the one who always did the deciding (I'm not fine)
So why are you crying when I'm the one dying?
(Pretending it's alright, it's never been alright)

Sometimes
The last thing I need is some sunlight
But recently I'm seeing this side
Of 5 a.m. Way too many nights
You can't blame me
I'm not fine
Pretending that everything's alright
Cause this time just might be the last time
That I'll ever hear you say good night
You can't blame me

I'm not fine
Pretending it's alright, it's never been alright
I'm not fine
Pretending it's alright, it's never been alright