A slapdash affair

I'm one disaster after another
You shouldn't let me meet your Mother
Like poison I'm tasteless
I'll corrupt you inside
Press my flesh and you'll wish you had died

Chorus:
Why is my life such a Slapdash Affair?
Badly put together without due care
Examine it closely and it all falls apart
I'm a car-crash victim But I'm proud of my scars

My Hairstyle's a mess
I don't know how to dress
I don't know what I like, so I just usually guess
Who knows where I'm going?
Or where I have been?
Am I straight? Bi-Curious?
Or Queer, like the Queen?

I killed all my friends off but I never meant to, really
I just get excited and act a bit silly
When I really, truly like someone I hold my breath
And before I know it, 'oops'
And I've hugged them to death...

I did something good but it turned out bad
I tried to make you happy but I just made you sad
I say something right but it comes out all wrong
I'm trying to keep going but I'm not all that strong
I made something pretty but it all fell apart
When I get near the end I find myself at the start
I try my hardest to smile but something's in the way
There's something very wrong with myself today...