Speechless

Nik, nik nik noy I don't know what to say,
words have no meaning they're out of my reach
I get annoyed nik, nik nik noyed when I cannot
articulate or am I dreaming?

Spee-spee speech it seems has eluded me,
I've fumbled up now I don't know where to begin
Like alphabeti-spaghetti the letters are all jumbled up
and they're dribbling down my chin

Somebody help me please, please please can't you
see that I'm floundering in the sea of my vocabulary?
A wave of silence washes me far from the shores of conversation

Why can't I speak?
The words are rising in my throat, they're on the tip of my tongue. But something's wrong. Or am I too weak?
To take responsibility for what I might say 'cos words once spoken stay that way, they can't be taken back again,
formulating phrases in my mind, I'm trying to delicately, eloquently find a way to say

Nik, nik nik noy God damn it, it's happened again. I wonder who has to die before I negotiate communication.

Why can't I speak?
(why can't he speak? is there a fundamental flaw in his understanding of the english language? do we need to regress this poor soul back to one of his assumedly innumerable incarnations which may have been spent in the presence of the greatest minds of said era? an inferiority complex inexplicably manifesting itself in the form of vocal paralysis? or am I proverbially barking up the wrong tree? huh?)
The words are rising in my throat, they're on the tip of my tongue. But something's wrong. Or am I too weak?
(the weakness factor that's it! a congenital condition that has lain dormant and thus undetected for nigh on a quarter century, but now, triumphantly awoken from complacent hibernation to present it's paradoxically vociferous presence. 'Blame the parents' is what they'll say. a weak lineage, it's surely not his fault....)
To take responsibility for what I might say 'cos words once spoken stay that way, they can't be taken back again,
formulating phrases in my mind, I'm trying to delicately, eloquently find a way to say

Nik, nik nik noy
Negotiate communication, infiltrate some
conversation, end this vocal masturbation.