College humor (part ii)

Look
I found Julie and I fucked her
I broke the rubber so I went across the hall and stole one from her brother
I put her ass to sleep then I went and found her mother
Didn't hit it, but I got a couple kisses and her number
Man, I'm really just a douchebag
And if you've been listening from the beginning, you should've fucking knew that

(It's Mike Stud Homie)

Are you sick of me?
I'm winning
Only thing I've ever lost is my dignity
Giggity, I'm sick in the head, give me a remedy
I get a lot of brain, every night is an epiphany
I'm young and gettin it, music was a good call
White boy killin it, bitch I'm Johnny Football
Kickoff, it's game time, now they all listening
I'm tired but I'm still the fuckin man like Michelin
No sleep, I'd rather sip and get buzzed
And just mellow out like a fucking Knicks sub, yessuh

I'm telling all the girls the same thing
I'm telling all the girls I love them
But I don't really mean a damn thing
I just wanna go home and fuck them
So I
I'm just tryna have fun
Sorry girl, I'm just tryna have fun

Look I'm hungover as fuck, just yakked on the plane ride
Wrote a couple songs on the way just to save time
I got a busy day
I didn't fly Southwest, but I guarantee your bitch is tryna get away
Treat it like a job so I gotta hit up Happy Hour
Taking shots to the face like I'm Pacquiao
Happy now?
Just went back to Georgetown, and all these hoes were tryna kick it like it's fourth down
I ain't mad about it, fuck a cap and gown
I'm the type of dude to say whatever regardless how bad it sounds
And man I'm really just a cool guy, with a weird stage name and a crude mind
And in due time
Brett got his peepee off the web so that's that
But I guarantee that motherfucker's got a SnapChat
And this is favorite actor poke, no Facebook
If you don't know Athletic D, you need to learn the playbook