Of a hope

Have returned- another journey has come to an end
No victory and no defeat- i'm there where i would stand
Was it just another useless run from what i've always been?
I failed except all those nice things i've seen

Skin and bones- empty hands
Stubborn pride it still demands
Same old feed- same old greed
Food for paltry ego

And the pain, just the pain
Same old pain- my only gain
I just moved on my way
Closer to my dying day

A day of battle
Torn between wanting to relieve my soul by searching for peace
And wanting to hope...

Handful of dreams
And i reach out for a dope
Chasing the beam
Of a dying hope

With vaguest dreams
Blade...pills...rope
What else could be killing as roughly
As a dying of a hope?

How many times has it let me down
How do i tear this hope out of my wretched body