Doomed monologue

Sometimes I wonder
Why are we all here
They call me a nihilist
I guess I'm just unclear
To why I bother

Why I try
Death is on my mind so much
It makes me wanna die
I've lost my wife this year
We've lost our friend
Always fighting battles
But they never seem to end

Are we just ladders
In a world of snakes
'Cause if life is one big fucking game
Well I don't wanna play it
So come and sing me
Sing me asleep
I dealt with too much fucking shit

Now I'm in too deep
Cut off my wings
My flowers bloomed
You want salvation
But I'm sorry
We're all doomed