January morning

I've always been afraid of being alone
But that's all I've been my whole life long
I've seen the good it's done for you
But it never should have been and will leave soon
My favorite chair is gone years away
There was no phone call and she'd not say
In fact she never was, but in song
My receipt lies long crumpled and gone

I have lost my mind and sleep early in the night
I have no real home but bitter despite
What have I done, that I am left alone
I'm too young, will always be too young to be alone

And so it comes some mid-january morning
Some sick reprieve from my infatuated mourning
The truth be known I'll always miss her
But the sad fact is she'll never miss me
I will sigh and nobody will know
For my pain is as tangible as soul
You think I'd hurt myself to rid of pain?
This spiteful idiocy becoming so plain

So let it be known that in my True Hollywood Story
That I had tried in my own will and right
Will you remember me when I die alone
Or leave me forgotten as dead weed in a road
I'm so scared I'll have no one to hear this
So if you do, please don't dismiss
I beg you, please stay with me now
Save my life, save my life somehow