I hope you know - part i: a cry in july

There's a cry in July
I can feel the aching pain again
Just wanna change the hands of time and take
you away
Away from this hell I've put you through... Away
What are they thinking?
I can't look them in the eye
My confidence is sinking
We all know what happened in July
What are they saying?
To mirrors on the walls back home
Are they hoping or sweating now
"Is there a god... is there a god at all?"
I'd love to give them a stroke
Or tell them a joke
But this was too real
I screamed up to the sky:
"Exchange theirs for mine!"
But this was all too real!
I tryed to help someone out
On a beautiful, shiney day
A task so simple
Yet making my life all grey
Cos that day I had become the worst of devils
And I wished that I was dead
I almost took two lives away
Of people... of people I'll never forget!
I know... no one deserves this
I know... I'm the one to blame
I know... I never meant to harm anybody
I know... I'll be living in shame!