Sinner (part ii)

Why I feel like I've been in this place before
I just can't take no more
I just can't smile like I'm still me, I just can't fake no more
I try to be all I can but that wasn't enough for them
We can't find love so we replace it with these drugs again
I drink from this bottle dog it's my only friend
I'm so scared to be alone again
Fake smile on my face
I just can't keep pretending like I don't pretend
And my little homie’s doing twenty five
If God exists why he never try
To show us that this life is more than pain
Cause is hard to live when you’re dead inside
And they say I’m worthless cause I ain’t a Christian
Like turn a church into a fucking business
They killed Jehovah, didn't leave a witness
And these preachers crooked as these politicians
Politics, religion, I don’t see the difference
They crucify me cause I’m speaking different
Who the fuck are they to judge?
Tell me you or you to criticize the way I’m living
40 ounces for the pain
I ain’t been the same since I’ve seen my pops cry
I might be light skin to you
But I’m still a nigga in the cops eyes
They ain't stopping til' we all die
Mama I just hope you understand
I just couldn’t take the pressure
Mama, see I tried my best to be a better man
And you might know my story dawg
But you won't ever know my pain
And she was all I needed
Now this bottle is my Novocain
Trying not to go insane now
Trying not to go insane now
Trying not to go insane

They say lately I ain't been the same
But they won't ever know my pain
And I know lately I ain't been the same
I just never really show my pain, my pain

Yeah, man I can't feel nothing no more
Fake love don't cut it no more
Homie, I've been drinking so much
Nothing staying in my stomach no more
I can't even feel the pain inside
I can't keep living in a lie
Yeah, I might be breathing just like everybody else
But I still don't feel alive
Every night man, I hear a pistol poppin'
Make me feel like God ain't really watching
Watch out for the snakes, they steady plottin'
They wanna put you in a cage or in a coffin'
Now a days, these cops just wanna kill
No love in the streets, don't wanna feel
What I felt when I heard my lil' brother passed
I'll never get him back
But yo I still, know his soul is still roamin' on the streets
Now I just hope he's watching over me
Now I just keep on praying
I've been trynna' talk to God but these demons never leave
I know I lost myself along the way
I was just too scared to fade away
Now they all keep begging me to stay
But I can't be here another day
So I drink from this bottle til' I feel numb again
I've been tempted by these drugs again
I know I ain't been the same
Momma told me she just wanna see her son again
I just wanna see her smile again
I don't ever wanna see her cry
So I lie and say that I'm okay
But, I've been plottin' on my suicide
And you might know my story dawg
But you won't ever know my pain
And she was all I needed
Now this bottle is my novacane
Trying not to go insane now
Trying not to go insane now
Trying not to go insane

They say lately I ain't been the same
But they won't ever know my pain
And I know lately I ain't been the same
But I just never really show my pain, my pain
I just don't show my pain