Sinner

When I speak it's like ya'll don't hear
Why I feel like God don't care
Why I feel like I ain't good as no one else
I'm searching but my pride ain't there
I just feel like life ain't fair
My boy got shot, died right there
But me, I died twice and came back to life
So tell me how can I be scared

Why do I gotta doubt myself
All I ever do is doubt myself
Drink liquor till the head gets consumed by the pint, like
I don't care about my health
Really I'm just trying to numb the pain
Love and hate it all just feels the same
Won't say I'm affected by the fame
But even my momma know I changed

So I get drunk till I can't feel
The love fake, the pain real
Got so many scars it ain't heal
But I gotta soul bullets can't kill
Why I feel like pops just want to pop me
Pop's never had a pot to piss in
Probably pack a nine on his hip then sit beside me
Pray to God there's no triple six inside me
No I can't let the devil in my mind
Same time the church will turn you blind
Last time I heard a preacher preach a sermon
All I heard him say was sinner's going to die
And they will never get to see a heaven
With all due respect fuck the reverend
Cause I know life was doing 25
Praying for early death like it's a blessing
This for my people going through depression
This for the kids who never felt affection
This for the kids whose parents don't accept them
Saying they love everyone else except them

I know what it's like to feel alone
I know what it's like to need a home
I know what it's like to not know what it's like
To have a love you can call your own

See I done tried every single fucking drug on that shelf
Trust me man it don't help
I just feel like I'm losing myself

Why I feel like love don't last
Things change when you move so fast
I was trying to focus on us in the future
You was focused on my past
If you left I would lose my soul
Promise me that you won't let go
See I just need love it's funny I got all money but my heart still broke

So many times I said I'ma change
Just to turn around and do the same
Same shit that's been putting you in pain
I know I'm the only one to blame
So I get drunk, till I can't see
I love you, but I hate me
Trying to be someone I can't be
And I ain't been myself lately

Why I feel like I'm the only one that got me
You could take the same 45 that shot me
Pop the clip in, cock it back and put that motherfucker to my head, you'll never stop me
Yeah I be living life on the edge
Suicide all in my head
Why the world don't care about no one else's life till they already dead
I just wish pops was back to how he was
Cause he ain't been the same since the drugs
And I ain't been the same since he said the worst form of pain is not being loved
So we use the drugs they gave to us
To replace the love the world takes from us
Lately I don't even know who to trust
They saying even satan was an angel once
So I can't feel shit, so numb that I can't feel shit
Living just to die, we dying just to live this life it doesn't make no sense

See I done tried every single fucking drug on that shelf
Trust me man it don't help
I just feel like I'm losing myself