The second best secret agent in the whole wide world

He’s not the first
He’s not the first
But he’s the second best secret agent in the whole wide world

Not number one
But not the worst
He’s just the second best secret agent in the whole wide world

He’s every bit as good as What’s-his-name
With a dame, any dame
And all those bullet holes are in his vest

To prove you work a little harder when you’re second best
Give him his due
He’s number two
Right in there doing his act
Despite the fact he shot clear though

Not the tenth, ninth, eighth, seventh, sixth, fifth, fourth
But the first
When the challenge is heard
But the second best secret agent in the whole wide blooming world

Not the tenth, ninth, eighth, seventh, sixth, fifth, fourth
But the first
When the challenge is heard
But the second best secret agent in the whole wide blooming world