The old dun cow

Some friends and I in a public house
Were playing dominoes one night.
When into the room the barman came
His face all chalky white.
“What‟s up?” says Brown. “Have seen a ghost?"
"Have you see your Aunt Maria?”
“Oh, me Aunt Maria be buggered,” says he,
“the bloody pub‟s on fire!”

“On fire?” says Brown, “What a bit of luck!"
"Everybody follow me!"
"Down to the cellar, if the fire‟s not there,"
"we‟ll have a rare old spree.”
So we all went down after good old Brown,
And booze we could not miss,
And we weren‟t there five minutes or more
Till we were all half-pissed.

And there was Brown, upside down,
Licking up the whiskey off the floor.
“Booze, Booze!” the firemen cried,
Ss they came knocking at the door. (clap clap)
“Don‟t let them in till it‟s all mopped up,"
somebody! shouted "MacIntyre." (MACINTYRE)
And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk
when the Old Dun Cow / caught fire.

Then Smith went over to the port-wine tub
and gave it a few hard knocks (clap clap)
And started taking off his pantaloons,
likewise his shoes and socks.
“Hold on,” says Brown, “we can‟t have that,"
"you can‟t do that in here.
“Don‟t go washing your trotters in the port-wine tub,"
when we‟ve got all this Lite beer.”

And there was Brown, upside down,
Licking up the whiskey off the floor.
“Booze, Booze!” the firemen cried,
Ss they came knocking at the door. (clap clap)
“Don‟t let them in till it‟s all mopped up,
somebody!” shouted MacIntyre." (MACINTYRE)
And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk
when the Old Dun Cow / caught fire.

Well, then there came an awful crash,
half the bloody roof gave way.
We were drowned in the firemen‟s hose,
still we were going to stay.
So we got some tacks and our old wet slacks
and we nailed ourselves inside,
And we sat there swallyin‟ pints of stout
till we were bleary eyed.

And there was Brown, upside down,
Licking up the whiskey off the floor.
“Booze, Booze!” the firemen cried,
As they came knocking at the door. (clap clap)
“Don‟t let them in till it‟s all mopped up,
somebody!” shouted MacIntyre." (MACINTYRE)
And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk
when the Old Dun Cow / caught fire.