How to survive a vicious cockfight

I am not human anymore
I'm sure you can agree
that you are no different
my past haunts me
the memories I obtained are an open wounds
cause you keep ripping off these scabs
things could have been fixed
couldn't you speak
can you just please take my eyes from my face
tear my skin from my body
I want to be deaf and numb
I want to be dead to decay
to be loved
rip my soul from my flesh
I just want to be numb