Suicide diary

Sullen black and grey sky
The night beckons my death
I want to rest in peace
Pain of solitude twines
Around me and devours me
Tamed memories
The rotting world marks the end

I smash my head on the wall
While madly shouting
But I still can't forget I'm being myself
A solitude struggling in broken consciousness
I can't get over this oppression

I see the black wall closing in
On it, nailed all my despair
I have no choice but to be crushed
When I close my eyes
Colorless despair furiously asks me for meaning

Why was I born?
For what should I die?
My existence has no meaning
After all that's the only truth
I can't reach my answer
Rusty, sharp and bloody gloom
Attacks me and destroys my hope
Now I have the end of this needless life

Rusty, sharp and bloody gloom
Attacks me and destroys my hope
Resistant feelings leave the sound of breath

I see the black wall closing in
On it, nailed all my despair
I have no choice but to be crushed
When I close my eyes
Colorless despair furiously asks me for meaning

Why was I born?
For what should I die?
My existence has no meaning
After all that's the only truth
I can't reach my answer
Rusty, sharp and bloody gloom
Attacks me and destroys my hope
Now I have the end of this needless life