What compelse me?

I knew i caught a glimpse of hope in my eye
But i didnt have enough guts to see it through
Just when i thought there was finally something to die for
I couldnt find enough chains to hold me down

I was walking through a park
Mozart on my walkman
The bottle flew from my hands
The old man fell to the ground

I thought there was a better place to hide
Better than all the drugs and booze and lies
But maybe there really is something in what i learned
Living in my dreams isnt so bad after all

Sitting in a shooting gallery
Staring at a naked midget
Breast-feeding on a hairdresser
Bleeding to death as they laugh in my face

I better learn to live without a cause
Or better yet survive without a clue
I cannot stop these violent anxiety attacks
Every second i turn my back

When will it allstop?
When will it allstop?
When will it allstop?
When will it allstop?
Stop?
Stop?
Stop?