A plea for the king

My king, hear my plea as I kneel before thee
In the task that was given me, I have failed thee
In the last hour of my watch I have fallen asleep

When Darkness came I did not protect them,
When they were struck with panic
I did not admonish them
And when death came I was too late to save them

Do not hold me accountable for their deaths
Do not forsake me in my darkest
For darkness comes for me, rebellion strides with me
And I feel death following me

"Open your eyes and then you will see,
that their deaths were merely an illusion
you must know of what I speak
and the wrongs you have done
already have been forgiven
although it saddens me to see you like this"

Although my King has shown me mercy
how come I can't forgive myself?
For the crime I have committed,
I should have been punished by death