Zelda 3 - episode 1: the secret passage

I hear your cries for help
To me and no one else
What can I do, I'm just an elf
(I'm just an elf with a really large penis!)
Who's that and where's he going to?
(Go to bed!)
I don't like his freakin' attitude
What the hell am I supposed to do?
(Don't make me slap you with my really large penis!)

I found a lamp
(That's right I found it)
I'll do a dance
(I'm so grounded)
I'll take a chance and I'll go

Where are my pants?
(I can't find them)
Where are my pants?
(I can't find them)
Where are my pants?
I don't know...

Now, I'm walking out in the rain
Like I'm Oran "Juice" Jones
She keeps talking, am I insane?
She won't leave me alone

I rip plants from the ground and then I'm killin' ya, son
I got 99 problems and a bush ain't one!
Man on the run
Havin' too much fun
I've got 3 hearts
You'll be left with less than one
I got a sword now
Watch me build it up, release
This is a secret technique from my family tree
I got the strength of a bear
That has the strength of a Sheen
I'm lean and I'm mean
I'm a killin' machine