No beard, no good

No beard, no good
There's not enough beards in my neighbourhood
And you can tell me you can't
I know that you could
You've got no beard and you're, no good

No

Well there's a beardless man in the flat next door
I've never spoken to him before and I never will
Until he grows a beard

And there's a beardless man in the flat below
I ignore him when he says hello and I always will
Until he grows a beard

Until he grows a beard

No beard, no good
There's not enough beards in my neighbourhood
And you can tell me you can't
I know that you could
You've got no beard and you're, no good

Well there's a beardless boy playing in the street
I pass him and I spit at his feet, it's his own fault
He should have had a beard

And there's a beardless girl I broke her heart
I also keyed her car, it's her own fault
She should have had a beard

She should have had a beard

No beard, no good
There's not enough beards in my neighbourhood
And you can tell me you can't
I know that you could
You've got no beard and you're, no good

Well there's a beardless banker, he calls me on the phone
He asks me to pay back my loan, but I won't
Not until he grows a beard

And there's a beardless man, he calls me son
He asks me to dinner but I never come, and I won't
Not until he grows a beard

Until he grows a beard

No beard, no good
There's not enough beards in my neighbourhood
And you can tell me you can't
I know that you could
You've got no beard and therefore you're, no good

No good, no good, no good