Diving bell

Could I disappear with the day?
I am left underwhelmed by the pavements whisper
'Today is not your day'
A thought for an instant, a reflection of this empty page
For a second, for forever

Distracted by the horizon. I am told that it s natural
I again am left underwhelmed. I feel much older though not wiser

I try so hard to be good
I know I promised more than this but I feel it rising through my skin
Overwhelming
It remembers my name

You need to stop this, stop pretending
Participate, just wake up and participate

I have betrayed myself again
I try so hard to escape my evil thoughts
Consume me
Leave me here
I am everything I hate
I am empty skies

How could you?
Let go?