One year later

I'm living in this world without you watching my own life pass me by.
I'm living in this world without you being a bystander to my own life.
I'm on the outside trying to look in.

I need to feel connected or else I'm going to lose it.
I'm waiting for my destiny to manifest in front of me. The one thing I was sure of, the one thing I knew, the only thing I thought I had fucking blew.
I'm showering at two in the morning so no once can seem clean the filth I have come to be.
How can I focus on tomorrow when I can live today.

I wanted hope, I wanted change. The stars have fallen from the sky. I wanted hope, I wanted change, but now I'm ready to die.
You can't kill someone who's already dead. You can't even begin to understand the thoughts in my head.
I beat my self over and over again about nothing, just sensing reality is dead.
I hate myself more than you ever can. And I'll hate myself until the very end.

I lost my heart the day the world went cold. The sun doesn't rise to heat this godforsaken earth.
An image of you appeared as I began to cry.
An image of you appeared as I slowly died.
Cynical of this world, pessimistic on a whole.
Cynical of this world, pessimistic on a whole, living in the biggest lie, calling purgatory my only home.