Rocky

Here's a little story that I think you'll like
It's not about Shaq or Iron Mike
So buckle yo seatbelts it's gonna get sharpy
And listen to the tale of the time I fought Rocky
One day, me and all my friends were hangin'
Talkin' 'bout which of the girls were most bangin'
Then one friend says: "You know who's really tough?
Rocky (hit me hard), the boxer."
Man, I said: "Yeah I know'im, what about him?"
He said: "He's really tough"
No way man, I'm calling your bluff
I think that I can take him and to prove my point
I'll challenge him in public (Yeah, that's the joint!)
So the very next day stay true to my word
And I snuck on TV so I could be heard
I said: "Rocky, if you're out there I think you're a nerd
And I'll lick you and bury you like a dog turd!"
I got kicked out but the candle was lit
'Cause the people had to know if my claim was legit
It made the headlines then I got the call
It was Rocky, and he wanted a brawl.
We negotiated terms and set the date
Then I went into training to add some muscle weight
While I punched on meat in a riggidy shack
He was sippin' on wine having models rub his back
At the weigh-in, boy the tension was high
Me and Rock, toe-to-toe and eye-to-eye
I talked some trash, we got pulled apart
I shot'im one last look to strike fear in his heart
Skip ahead, the big night was finally here
My body was ripped and my mind was clear
We entered the arena to the roar of the crowd
People chanted my name, I never felt so proud
Faced off once more in the center of the ring
Touched gloves, said a prayer, then the bell went [ding]
He hit me with the left and shattered my face
Send a right to set my teeth all over the place
Then another great punch caved in my eye socket
He broke my jaw and my trainer yelled: "Stop it!"
But nobody heard him and he crushed my ribs
Blood sprayed off my face and onto some kids
They yelled out: "More!" and Rocky obliged
I had to figure someway to turn the tie
So I leaned back to hit him with all of my might
Took a swing, but he caught me with a sucker punch right
Then a sucker punch left, then a sucker punch right
Then twenty two consecutives sucker punch right
He tore off my arms and beat me with 'em
Then through acid in my face, which obscured my vision
He kicked me in the leg and fractured my shin
The bone splinter shot right out of my skin
People barfed in the crowd, they were going insane
Then Rocky punched my nose bone into my brain
I was quivering and twitching when I soiled my shorts
Then Rocky pissed on me, customary in sports
The doctor came out and pronounced me dead
And that was the night I fought Rocky.