Sleeps like a curse

I'm worried I aint got the nerve to play
I'm told my problem's I act to late
That even though I know what I say
It may not translate
I only ever try to avoid these games
If I lose my baby then I lose my way
Who never could wait

I aint competing just to hold you back
I'm never hiding you just follow my tracks
I have the kind of thoughts you gotta distract
I wouldn't lean on that

I get no feeling the ordinary way
I'm only guessing, guess I like it that way
You see that habit still remains
Of hiding from change

The only voice that answers me
Is the voice of mine at age thirteen?
Who learnt you never get no place
With the weakest handshake

I lie under and hide the worst
I prepare for the end of the first
I have the kind of thoughts
That sleeps like a curse
And it leans on her

I aint competing just to to hold you back
I'm never hiding you just follow my tracks
I have the kind of thoughts you just gotta distract
I wouldn't lean on that