Carousel of descent

How you stand there so proud and beautiful
beside the black me, the sick and helpless one.
True gentle caring, natural and undemanding.
A childish wish you'll see me through the night.
I've seen them staring at me, even through the tears.
The world's descending for a foolish boy in fear.
I keep all doors shut, I endure this bitter guilt.
I know they blame me but that's one thing I can take, right!
I can take it!

I wish that every single tear I shed was felt and seen by you,
so you would understand how much you are and mean to me.
I am so weak and tired, drugged somehow and sinking,
fevered and uncared for, strangely not even self-pitied.
Thoughts spinning, swirling, carousel of misadaption,
a freak of nature on the ride of a lifetime, yes, that's me.

The more I try to fight the deeper I'm descending,
no use in trying crashing headfirst towards the ground.
It has to end somewhere, I've known it would and here it is,
this carousel, descending, had its' purpose and it was you.

How you stand there so proud and beautiful
beside the black me, the sick and helpless one.
True gentle caring, natural and undemanding.
A childish wish you'll see me through it all.
I've seen them staring at me, even through the tears.
The world's descending for a foolish boy in fear.
I keep all doors shut, I endure this bitter guilt.
I know they blame me but that's one thing I can take.
I can take it!