The knicker elastic king

He used to travel in bath cubes
Until the slump came...
Faced with redundancy
He turned his mind to other things
And soon became a household name...
Knicker Elastic - everybody used it
Knicker Elastic - nobody refused it
The Knicker Elastic King
The Knicker Elastic King

A self-made man with a business to run
And something to sell - to everyone
The Knicker Elastic King...

He grew so rich the Gnomes of Zurich
Were green with envy...
The darling of the Stock Exchange
Made the New Year's Honours List
And won the Queen's Award to Industry
Knicker Elastic - essence of propriety
Knicker Elastic - upholder of society
The Knicker Elastic King
Ooh la la...

His rubber business kept expanding
But the disaster... (Ee bah gum!)
The price of raw materials
Coupled with Inflation
Squeezed his global holdings
His liquid assets bottomed out
And shrunk his retail outlet operation...
...And that's the story of
The Knicker Elastic King... (and market forces)
The Knicker Elastic King... ('horses for courses')

A self-made man with a business to run
And something to sell to everyone
The Knicker Elastic King
Ooh La La...
The Knicker Elastic King