The stand up comic's instructions

Get em laughing - keep em there,
You hold your own and theyll hold theirs,
Hold their glasses - cant hold their beer
Tell em the one about the fucking queer.
Do the one that always works,
bout the lazy blacks that dont like work,
And once you got em, keep em there
Raise their spirits! raise their cheer!

Do that one that never fails,
bout the gang of white thugs and the asian male,
And once you got em, theyll be with you!
See this lots loyal, through and through.

Tell irish jokes and you cant miss,
Do the building site one and how theyre all thick.
Keep em laughing - youll have it made,
Were a friendly lot and youll be well paid.

But keep em laughing dont let it stop
Or the truth might catch up and spoil the plot.