Urban legends

remember the girl with the bee hive hairdo
stung by a spider in a rat's nest igloo
hook man leavin' his hook on the door
after givin' that girlfriend's guy what for
someone put a rat in the deep fry
madman on the phone in the upstairs bedroom
alligators down in the sewer lines
i had a tough time believing all that

'till i picked up
the vanishing hitchhiker
i picked up (the vanishing hitchhiker)
he was an angel (the vanishing hitchhiker)
i heard him say "stop telling lies."
then he went away

remember the dog in the microwave oven?
it was turned to high, now there's nothin' left of him
"there's a hatchet killer hiding in your back seat, ma'am
and a rat tail floating in your coca cola can."

at midnight there stood a stranger on the highway
somewhere there abouts, (i think) in corpus christi
he smiled and said that he was goin' my way
no i couldn't say that i believed in all that

'till i picked up
the vanishing hitchhiker
i picked up (the vanishing hitchhiker)
he was an angel (the vanishing hitchhiker)
i heard him say "stop telling lies."
then he went away

i get my info from the backward masking
i get the Word of God through prayer and fasting
j.f.k. is alive and well
and kissenger is a beast from hell

the face of saint paul in this butt roast
assures me that i'm going up to heaven
the anti-christ does laundry on the east coast
i doubted the most -- did not believe in all that

'till i picked up
the vanishing hitchhiker
i picked up (the vanishing hitchhiker)
he was an angel (the vanishing hitchhiker)
i heard him say "stop telling lies."
then he went away