Thoughts without action

Help me believe in myself
Protect me from all my fears
Rescue me from this loneliness
I don't want to shed these tears

Off the bridge into the freezing cold ice
As I'm falling down memories flash by
Thinking of all this pain reminds me why
I know I'll be happy when I die.

But I've surfaced my world still a mess. The cycle
won't digress.
Ignoring feelings. It hurts to feel. Suppressing so
they're not real.
It builds up and I must deal. Can't you see? I'm dead
in here.
Emotions gone. I've no strength. I can't pretend to
play the game.
There's no way out.

Help me believe in myself
Protect me from all my fears
Rescue me from this loneliness
I don't want to shed these tears

Everyone moment of joy I've ever felt has multiplied
and gotten its revenge.
Stabbed me innumerable times and bled me to death.
I walk but without a pace. I may look human but
there's no one alive behind this face.
As I bawl alone in my shell I am certain a life like
this is one in hell.

There's no way out.
I'm still alive.
Couldn't this have been my final dive?
Rescue me from this loneliness.