Ruins of memory

For the first time
I took heart to look back
Within my existence
I took my mistakes

...And was the first time
I regreted my acts
I tried to pray
Oh God, why am I afraid?

It was too late for questions
Too late to admit
The secrecy of the guilty
Shows ruins of memory

...And was the first time
I regreted for not going back
I had to accept all the warning signs

...And was the first time
I realized that
To achieve my aims
I hid facts, destroyed lives