Say that we're sweethearts again

Life used to be a gay thing
A filled with happiness, night and day thing
It was something to have and to hold
But it seems that your love grew cold

I never knew that our romance had ended
Until you poisoned my food
And I thought it was a lark
When you kicked me in the park
But now I think it was rude

I never knew that our romance had finished
Until that bottle hit my head
Though I tried to be aloof
When you pushed me off the roof
I feel our romance is dead

It wouldn't have been so bad if you'd told me
That someone had taken my place
But no, you didn't even scold me
You just tried to disfigure my face

You'll never know how my poor heart is breaking
It looks so helpless, but then
Life used to be so classic
Won't you please put back that acid
And say that w're sweethearts again

Oh, how well I remember
That night in Bridgeport
That was the night you gave me the hotfoot
I thought that there was sort of a strange look in your eyes
But you smiled, and well, it made everything alright
Then there was the time we went canoeing
And you set fire to my dress
You said you pushed me overboard to put out the flame
But I never quite understood why you held me under water so long
Now, I've never met this girl who's taking my place
But I wish you all the happiness in the world
And if there's anything I can do
You know you can always reach me in room number 304
In the General Hospital
Farewell, my sweet

You'll never know how my poor heart is breaking
It looks so helpless, but then
My love can go just so far
Won't you please put down that crow bar
And say that we're sweethearts again