Memory loss

Hearing the bus drive away, whisper of this earth,
god how i hate the sound, too many collect calls and not enough writing on the wall,
I called aloud so often only to see my words cut through them like knives, blood tastes so sweet upon my fingers, the wounds have healed, but the scars still remain,
I try myself and kill myself, flowers looked lovely in your eyes, but all mine died yesterday, we always forget to water them, the floor is so cold, so fucking cold,
( it never felt so right as the day when i couldn't recollect) I don't remember it that way
( I can't remember when sunshine didn't shine with regret) I don't remember it that way, my shower runs red
so I haven't bathed in days, weekend stroll envisioning the eyes I once looked into, yesterday-i don't remember,
today's dream-don't remember, years blown away-i don't remember.