Black veins

At the crux of it, everything I have
These feelings cold as stone
The everyday tyrants of a better life
I never feel they will ever leave me alone
I have only to fear fear itself
But I have everything to lose
How funny that the fear we own
Is the one we get to choose

Why can't I choose something more?
Instead of fraying away at my mind
It's like my greatest fears at which I used to laugh
Are always by my side
I'm not scared of dying, more so of living
As for once I've everything to lose
This happiness and morality
Infecting everything I can't do

This feeling inside
It's like a thickening pain
The bleeding inside
The blood in these black veins
Just a moment alone, enough time with myself
When I can't bide my time with anyone else
This bleeding of thoughts, and broken memories
Is drowning in blood that I never need

The feeling inside, it's thickening pain
Anxiety inside of me
I hope I don't feel again
The feeling inside
It's a thickening pain
The bleeding inside
The blood in these black veins