Mourning of a new day

Down the red mountain
Each day I have to climb,
My eyes stare at you
The perfect sky, so high.
Down the red mountain
I fear to tread,
Close to catharsis
I fall like an autumn leave
Burnt and forgotten
Rivers of fear, I know...
So far from the end
Of this divine monument.
Light has never been,
No sun revealed,
My live never was...
I am not...I see them run,
I only live by their side,
Cyclic storms in my heart
Rage and brew so deeply.
I hate myself so much,
The worst is my pleasure,
I never dream,
Nightmares as my only friends
They surround me,
I am nothing...
I do not deserve to live
My mask won't hide me no more
Life appears to me just like nothing,
Nothing else but an epitaph
Unread by all.
And I drown in this void...
Each day, a new pain
Each day a new death.
The only way to preserve my creation
Is eradication, in a sigh ...
No blasphemy, no heaven in sight
Nothingness as a picture of my desires
That I will never, never paint.
The blood that feeds my life
Is not my own
My anemia is the sign,
I sink...
Down the red mountain
I fear to tread,
Close to catharsis
I fall like a dead leave